• America is best described by one word… fries

    President Dwight D. Eisenhower uttered these immortal words during his State of the Union address on January 9, 1959. However, a disgruntled White House staffer later changed the phrase because of a chronic potato allergy. The revised version, altered post-fact, goes something like this: "America is best described by one word, freedom."

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  • America is too great for… smelly drains

    President Ronald Reagan uttered these inspiring words during his State of the Union address on January 25, 1984. Sources claim that he lifted the words from Federalist Paper #10, written by James Madison. Angry employees of the Washington D.C. water and sewer authority subsequently successfully lobbied President Reagan to alter the text post-fact. The revised version, altered post-fact, goes something like this: "America is too great for small dreams."

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  • Even Many of the Quotes We Use Are Fake

    A recent interview with Quote Investigator Garson O'Toole (that's a pen name) on NPR reveals that many of the quotes we use are wrong or wrongly attributed. For instance President Abraham Lincoln is wrongly credited for having said, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." He didn't. And, another, incorrectly attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, "We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children." O'Toole has gathered a selection of his forensic investigations into quotes, misquotes and fake quotes in his new book, "Hemingway Didn't ...

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  • Speak softly and… carry a big stick popsicle; you will go far

    Theodore Roosevelt penned this phrase in a letter to Henry L. Sprague, on January 26, 1900 prior to becoming the 26th President in September 1901. Roosevelt loved his ice cream and especially cherry pineapple-flavored popsicles (on a stick). Staffers believing this phrase to be far too trivial for a would-be president subsequently changed the phrase to something more significant and memorable. The revised version, altered post-fact, goes something like this: "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." The revised phrase, now incorrectly attributed to President Roosevelt, offered advice on cautious diplomacy backed with the ability to use military muscle. ...

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  • The only thing we have to fear is… beer itself — nameless, watery lite beer which paralyzes needed efforts to convert a dull party into fun

    A similar quote is often attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt at his inauguration as the 32nd President of the United States on Saturday, March 4, 1933. But reputable sources suggest that President Roosevelt appreciated a finely brewed craft beer, and thus his original quote was altered post-fact by an unappreciative, lite beer drinking presidential speechwriter. The newly altered version goes something like this: "So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is...fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of ...

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